divorce and tempature

So, yesterday I found out that a couple we know is getting a divorce. This is the second couple I've know personally to get a divorce in the last three months. Wow. I am rattled and i've been trying to think why. I know that divorce happens all the time, i know that couples call it quits everyday so why am i so emotionally torn up abuot this right now? There have been only two people in my whole family to get a divorce, that is aunts and uncles included on both sides...one on each side actually. Anyway, the point is, i'm not personally close to a lot of divorce. Marriage to me has always seemed like a concrete bubble. You get married and that is it, no ifs ands or buts about it, you are married until one of you dies. The only exception is abuse and affairs...thats how i've looked at it. now, my little concrete bubble has transformed into a soap bubble that if blown incorrectly will burst and life will be destroyed. i looked at cameron last night and ijust wanted to hold on to him that much harder. i wanted to do everything i possibly could to make our bubble concrete not soap. so what does this have to do with tempature? well, i love to bake, a pasttime i have greatly neglected due to children. I got some apple's from my sister-in-laws house last week and had to make an apple pie. my sweet mother gave me this cook book that is fabulous and the author is very specific. in order to make this certain pie crust you must use frozen butter and not ever touch it with you hands then leave it in the fridge over night. the next day once the apples are in the pie crust you put it back in your fridge for at least in hour. This way you put in a super cold pie into a super hot oven. seems like a lot of work no? its totally worth it! i mean seriously, this was the best pie crust i've ever eaten, ever, and that includes village in pie, and thanksgiving. usually i have to give half of whatever i make to our neighbors, this time i ate half in one day. And it all has to do with all those stupid little steps about tempature. so heres what i'm thinking, we put all this work into an apple pie- what about our marriages? if you follow a regular cookbook you would never know about the freezer butter and the ziplock bag and finally leaving the stinkin' pie in the fridge for an hour before putting it in the oven that has been preheated for 45mins. then you crust would not be flakey, it would not be-eat half in one day- good. How many of us have followed the simple better homes and garden pink cookbook in marriage? you met the great guy, he had everything checked off on your list, you went to the temple...check, check, check...flour, butter, water. then we're done, put the pie int he oven. how is it coming out? are we finished, is that going to make our bubble concrete forever and ever? i dont think so. i think we have to get really nitty gritty and do really stupid tempature things, we have to do the ziplock bag etc etc. If we put so much time in a pie, a dish that is going to be gone in such a short time, shouldn't we put WAY more into something we want to last forever? am i laying on my concrete every day, over and over, layer after layer so that it never gets worn down into a soap bubble? i know i'm ranting but i need to get this out there, get this down into the great void, to try to write what i'm thinking so that maybe something will sink in and i will always do what i must so that i feel like i do now for my cameron always. i watch a lot of tv, i admit it, its terrible i need to stop, but here ya go. anyway, i always hear these professionals say 'you need to put yourself first' 'you need to be the top of you priority list' and here you go- i know you can crucify me later- i think its BS. i think that you put God first then your marriage. if you are putting your marriage first, both you and your husband than your kids are automattically priority. seriously though, how else are you going to have a relationship with a person who has a totally different background then you? who grew up completely different not to mention they are from another planet? its ludicrious to believe that you only have to follow the simple pink cookbook, you need the 'pie and pastry bible' cookbook. you need the author that is going to tell you how to kneed the dough in the ziplock bag. divorce and tempature, there ya go. i dont want to find out one more person getting a divorce. i want my marriage to be made not of concrete but of diamonds or steel or whatever the heck is the strongest stuff on earth. if i have to put butter in the freezer to do it i will. i love you cameron.