so that someday i will laugh...

mom suggested that i write some of this stuff down that has been happening so that someday i can look back and laugh...sure. jade is a maniac. she doesn't sleep. seriously. we have been fighting her for weeks on bed time. since we've moved into our new place we cannot tie her door closed. therefore we put her ot bed- she gets up- we put her to bed- she gets up and wakes up alana- repeat for two hours. so i gave in to cameron last night and we pushed her bedtime back an hour. why not put her to bed when she actually was falling asleep before...i put alana to bed first then sat on the floor and read to jade for an hour. we sang songs, we brushed her teeth, we said a prayer and i layed her bed. she was yawning and rubbing her eyes- so stinkin' tired, i thought this may actually work. my was i wrong. not even two minutes after i put her to bed she is up, she smiling little face peeking out the door- runs back to bed. three minutes later she wakes up alana. she wasn't asleep until ten. alana woke up at midnight, sometime later, three, and then jade woke up and then was up for good at 6:30am........yeah. the other night i prayed what to do and thought 'be more loving'. i'll tell you something thats the hardest thing to be. since i got a pass to seven peaks yesterday my new plan is the go every morning for an hour. we went, the girls were having a ball. after rescuing jade from trying to drowned herself under the tire swing for the fourth time it had been an hour and it was time to go home. i pulled jade out of the pool and the tantrum ensued. falling down, screaming, running away, trying to get back into the pool, a full blown death is approaching tantrum. finally strap both girls back into our car and i look over- lo and behold alana has thrown up all over herself...awesome. clean her up. on the way home i look back and more throw up and what is that, what is that all over her legs, her hands, oooooh diaherra...everywhere...throw up and diaherra all over everything....nothing could make this better. fast forward to after lunch. alana of course goes down like a saint since she is trying to transition to one nap a day. i put jade in my bed with books, toys, all her stuff. door, put her back to bed, door, put her back to bed, door....time out! crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying. put her back to bed- she is finally out. maybe. yesterday she found the diaper cream i had accidently left on the floor and rubbed it all over her body, hair and the brand new carpet...this morning she found a blue colored pencil that i had left on the dest and marked all over a wall. how about some cute things? this morning cameron went to get alana out of bed and she was playing pook-a-boo with her blanket when he walked it. so cute. before the dredded naptime with jade we couldn't find her and she was sitting on her bed 'i'm reading daddy' dang cute. when i was stressed trying to clean diaherra and throw up off everything jade says 'i want to dance'. i cry most nights lately. if you wanted to know the truth here. motherhood is hard, i'm not good at it. i'm trying to figure out how to do this. but someday when i'm old and gray i believe i'll read over this and laugh and think wow what a ride that was.

so we moved...

we hated our old landlords, couldn't wait to get away from them but cameron hates to move. since he did it a lot of his growing up years he has a lot more experiance with it than i do. we looked and looked and couldn't find a dang thing. we thought- shoot one more flippin' year with these people! we signed the contract and gave it to our landlords. That same day i was talking one of our neighbors. They had found this 'perfect' apt but didn't want to move--they walked us right over. It fit every requirement we had. we moved in a week later! It is $25 cheaper than what we were paying last year- its mostly in the ground but wonder of wonders all the windows are above ground and therefore feels like its not a basement! The rooms but the kitchen have ceiling fans :D It has brand new carpet and paint. huge rooms! did i mention that? HUGE HUGE HUGE rooms. our master bedroom is enormous, i think its the biggest room of the apt. the girls are now sharing a room and i think its going to be great. with any move there will be some growing pains. The move---sucked. it really really sucks to move. as this is the first time that i have moved as a family unit i was surprised by how much it sucked. i lived my whole life in the same house. when you're single and moving its not a big deal since everything you own can fit your backseat. Cameron and I moved into our last apt before Jade was born and therefore we had almost nothing. fast forward three years and we have a ridicilous amount of crud! I now understand why cameron did not want to move. Most everything is unpacked which is great. and we really love this little gem. it has a backyard and everything. we are a block away from the park. Cameron can still walk to work which was a necesity. i mean the only negative about this apt is that it doesn't have enough storage. we hated having to leave our friends at the old place. but we are still close enough that hanging out shouldn't be too hard. Anyway- sarah was amazing and watched our kids overnight for us!!! we could not have moved if she hadn't done that. Jay and Jesse helped us load and unload...Anyway- we are so excited about this and just wish that all our friends lived close enough to see our new diggs and be excited about them with us. it just feels like a new start and even when you liked your 'old' life doesn't a new beginning just feel refreshing sometimes--like taking a shower in the middle of the day sometimes just feels really good...here some pics...befores and afters: