some great stories

ok, i realize that i need to share some funny stories about my girls, mainly so that i have them written down for future laughter. As we all know i use this as a journal so here are some funnies from this week.
Jade now can get herself in and out of her room with ease, its a problem. This means that at 3am if she wakes up instead of going back to sleep she walks into our room, "Mama..." and she gets to snuggle bug with us until i take her back to bed. it also means that when we want her to take a nap or go to sleep we have to either hold the door closed or tie the door closed, as she can unlock it too...really we just need to get one of those door knob things that make it impossible to open the door. This getting herself in and out leads us into a few stories:
First: In the mornings i try to put jade in her room for 'quiet time' while i put alana down for a nap. This worked great pre-door opening. so, yesterday i put jade in her room and put alana down for a nap. i went down stairs to work my flab away with "Crunch" (yeah, its that annoying, but it gets me sore). As i'm squatting my life away i hear over the baby monitor, "is okay lana, is ok, is ok lana, is ok". Jade had heard alana grunting, had gotten out of her room (closed the door behind her) and gone into Alana's room where she had closed the door than climbed up onto the crib so she could see Alana. I walked into Jade telling Alana it was ok and Alana laughing at her. Yeah...this is why i'm a stay at home mom.
Second: Yesterday was a bad day for me emotionally. I realized that I am community property. Everything about my life is for the family. It started with Jade dropping my favorite pot of eye shadow on the floor, resulting in crumbs of gold sparkles... Now one may ask "Christie Anne, what the, aren't you the girl who tried her hardest to be a boy, a tough girl?" to this i replay, yes, i was this girl. but things have changed. I now really LIKE make-up. And i would not have been devastated except for the fact that its $15 a pot of this stuff. MAC is not cheap. So, first the make-up, then i was trying to do exercises and after Jade comforted Alana she came down to 'help' me work out....try doing lunges with a two year old in front of you, or those leg extensions, or when your on your side balanced precariously trying to follow the lady who you can barely see and Jade is pulling and pushing...yeah...then we took Cameron to school and waited...and waited...and waited...what was supposed to take a half an hour took two! and he couldn't call me since it was a flippin' final. yeah. two hours in the car with nothing prepared, right when they need to take a nap...i was grouchy. Anyway, there is my mood for you, i was very annoyed. and was realizing that the sooner i get over trying to do things for me, when i realize i'm community property the happier everyone will be. its true. Children force selflessness. if you try to be selfish you will pay, you will be punished. Anyway!! wow, so finally i got the girls down for afternoon naps and laid down (as i was ridiculous tired). about two hours later (yeah i know,i got a significant nap) my sweet jade came out of her room whimpering. She walked next to my bed 'mama..' i picked her up and snuggled her next to me. And, miracle of miracles we slept, both of us. What a tender mercy it was. To have my sweet daughter snuggled next to me. When i finally got up to get Alana i felt totally renewed. and i remembered that that is what being a mom is all about. Really really hard mornings and than amazing moments. A simple moment where you cannot hold in how much you love this little squirmy child. Anyway...It was good. The Lord loves me, i know this because He gives me little miracles when i need them most.
Now a little about Alana:
She is hilarious! honestly! She growls. seriously growls. like a monster, esp when she is eating. She could be sound effects in a movie. She loves Green Beans and HATES apple sauce. She is huge! and loves to be kissed on. unless you have facial hair to which she tries to get away from you. She likes to tease her sister. I know how does a 6 month old tease her sister. Well, she touches her whenever possible. When i move her so she can no longer grab at Jade she shimmies her way quickly back to her older sister. Wonder of Wonders! Alana sleeps through the NIGHT! i know. i couldn't be more stoked. honestly. She wakes up about 6:30 for a bottle than goes right back to sleep until 8ish. amazing, i know. life really is getting wonderful. I get to hear Jade pick up so many things like 'hi honey!' 'you're fine' 'is ok lana' 'i love you' etc. those are my favorites. being a mom is hard, i mean, really, you have to be community property and be ok with that, but once you get over that you get to witness miracles.
one last thing. my husband is amazing. I have heard from some that their husbands are hard to get to go to things, like they aren't very sentimental. think 'incredibles' "Its not a graduation, they are moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade!..." my sweet man is not one of those. I wanted to take Jade to "The princess and the Frog". I didn't think he would care if he didn't go. I wanted to go during the day- get out of the house...so i made plans. than when i told him i really looked at him....he looked...disappointed. i asked, "are you sad you're not going?"
"Yeah, i wanted to see Jade at her first real movie." We went to a later showing and he took work off early so that he wouldn't miss her first movie in the movie theater. we went all out at the concession stand. He didn't want to miss this. Then he insisted on sitting next to her. I realized that i found a gem. A man who can see how important the very small things are. how important it is to make memories with your kids and be there for them. Who realized that going to a movie was more important than anything else he had to do that day. wow. i'm so lucky.
There are some thoughts for you!

girls are fun

man, it is fun to have girls. sunday night after the girl's baths i put Jade's hair up into curlers, she let me, and then painted her finger and toe nails! it was fun. I cant wait until alana is big enough to join in the fun. Alana is offically army crawling. she can get anywhere she wants its pretty funny. She still leans over on one side like she is a model lounging. this is instead of sitting. She loves to stand up. Our amazing Tina found her a activities center at the church for free. She loves it. She runs around and around it then if she wants to get somewhere she pulls it to the direction she wants, all over the kitchen. She can really move that thing! she also loves Jade. She loves to touch her (bug her), look at her, kiss her, grab her hair, grab her arms, grab her clothes, grab her feet. Alana is so big now. i cant believe it. I mean really! I have a six month old. wow. Anyway, this is fun.

boo boos again

how is that my child always has a bruise on her head, somewhere? well, yesterday jade was playing with her daddy in the kitchen. she had a towel over her head (peek a boo) and then she walked toward cameron. She tripped and face planted into the leg of on of our chairs. it looks bad. we were going to take family pictures yesterday, yeah that didn't happen. IT was horrible, we feel so bad. thankfully she is fine just a huge goose egg on her head. awesome

cowgirl boots!!

Grandma Marla got Jadie some great gifts for her birthday but my personal favorites were picked out by Dale...bright red cowboy boots!! they are awesome! and she loves them! honestly, the cowgirl just runs in her blood. man so cute!
oh very cute story i need to share:
yesterday we went to the byu utah game (yayaeh byu!!) at Lee and Mimi's house. Jade was nuts. Lee has these banana chairs that she adored. Cameron was sitting in one of them and Jade walked in front of him and looked at him. then she sat on a cushion front of the couch and said 'nuggles dada' Cameron heaves a sigh and gets down on the cushion to snuggle with her. Jade pops up and as soon as Cam is off the chair and onto the cushion she runs behind him and sits on the cushion, which was her plan from the get go. can you believe she is only two. wow. talk about problem solving...and lying...and manipulating your dad. she amazes us everyday.

embarrassing

well...for the first time ever i have embarrassed my husband. i feel terrible. we were at his aunt and uncle's house for thanksgiving. we had been there all day and the kids were nuts. i was ready to get home. i knew the kids needed to sleep and i couldn't wait anymore. Now Lee, has an HG projector in his basement with an amazing surround sound system. All the guys were watching Star Trek. i went downstairs and said 'its time to go'. he said ok so i went upstairs and started getting the girls ready to go. he didn't come up. so instead of calmly and patiently waiting for him, or going to talk to him again i went into pissed off FINE mode. i looked at his mother and said can you take him home?! Now, usually i keep my cool pretty well with his family, (this weekend has not been that way...i lost it a couple of times...) so this was the first time she has seen me showing my anger. As I started heading out the door Cameron comes up. i looked at him and i dont remeber exactly what i said but is was snotty and bossy...something along the lines of 'i'm ready to go home and if you aren't then you can go home with your mom and i'll just drive home myself because we arent waiting anymore!' i dont know if you have this happen, where it seems as though you have a cloud around you, and that cloud is red and angry. i had a tornado, i was so annoyed, i just wanted to go home! but as i got mad at him the clouds parted and i saw his aunt behind him looking at me with raised eyebrows...in fact no one was talking, no one. everyone was looking at me, was watching me scold my husband and treat him like he was a kid. it was not good. of course being my sweet husband he took it in stride and we left but the whole way home and ever since i have the look of his aunt stuck in my head. see, i just embarrassed him in front of his family. they now have a vision of our relationship--where i'm a shrew and boss my husband around all the time! honestly, i threw a fit, i might as well have stomped my food or thrown myself on the floor like Jade does...i just wanted to get home. its so stressful to be at events with kids..who haven't had naps...and the house isn't child proof...i just get stressed. anyway, there is my confession. i did a terrible thing. and there isn't really anything i can do to fix it. the damage has been made. but seriously this time of seeing his parents i have had the least composer...how do you spell that? anyway, i dont know why but i just couldn't keep it together. perhaps its the little amounts of sleep i got...hopefully next time i can do better.

naked

ok, i have to post this because i think it is hilarious. i put alana and jade down for a little nap when i got home from taking cameron to school. jade usually doesn't sleep in the morning but a little 'rest' generally helps her. anyway, i didn't hear anything from her for a while so i went upstairs to see what she was doing. the light was on in her room, so i thought oh great she has just been playing in there, i'm sure she wants to come out. i open the door and low and behold laying on her tummy, in all her glory is my naked daughter....completely and utterly nude. she took all her clothes off, and her diaper and fell asleep on top of her blankets naked. ahahaha. so funny. i should have gotten a pic but i didn't think about it. i was trying too hard not to laugh. i put a daiper back on her and which point she woke up and looked at me. i said 'its ok hunny, i'm just going to get a diaper on you and then you can go back to sleep' closing her eyes she say 'daiper, uhuh'. she is still asleep...oh my little nudest. i think that being part of the 'jaybird' club must run in the genes. ;)

Happy Birthday Jadie!!

Jade's birthday was great! The party was so fun and everything went so well. Everyone knows my stress levels about food and thankfully we had leftovers. I get so worried about stupid things, i mean honestly for the first time in my whole life i have a canker sore in my mouth because of this stinkin' party. we had over family and the neighborhood kids. Jade loved playing with all the kids and i think she really got it that this whole thing was for her. She stood still and smiled so big when everyone sang her happy birthday. We had an extreme amount of presents though, wow. There were so many presents the moment that she was done opening one i pulled it from her hands to give her another one. It was marathon. We dont even need to give her anything for christmas i think i'll just wrap up some of the stuff she got for her birthday. She truly loved all the presents though. Well, all the kids loved them. We had so many presents that i hid the two we had bought for her, so that everyone didn't have to stand around and watch her open that many more. All and all it was so fun and so good. My daughter is two. wow. She is a little girl. She loves to put on make up with me when i get ready for the day. It would be so endearing if she didn't put her fingers in my expensive stuff and the wrong brush in wrong powder. anyone who has multiple brushes and expensive make up will understand what i mean...it sucks to have your powder brush full of dark brown eye shadow. Anyway, it really is cute how she puts on make up with the brushes and takes chap stick and puts it on her mouth. She also LOVES purses. anything she can sling over her arm is a purse. She loves babies and her kitchens. Joel bought her a little kitchen for her birthday so now her kitchen is fully stocked. that girl could whip out thanksgiving meals like it was nuthin'--that or plastic speghetti and pizza with some plastic katchup on the side. She really is so helpful. She loves her sister and loves her daddy. Oh and she loves Tina. the next time she wakes up in the middle of the night crying for Tina i'm going to take her across the way and hand her over. ;)
At night i've been trying to teach Jade about saying her prayers. So, before bed we kneel down and i say each word and she repeats. We have now done it so often she knows which words come next and just skips to them. here is a transcript of last night:
ME: Dear
Jade: Father
Me:Thank you
J:Tank to
M: For
J: Four
M: Family
J: Famey
M: Thank you
J: Tank to
M: for
J: four
M: Jesus
J: Jesus, Amen
M: in
J: in
M: the
J: the
M: Name
J: Amen
M: of
J:.....
m: Jesus
J: AMEN!! (jumps into bed with a huge smile on her face.)
Of course at this point i cant help but laugh at which point she says 'so funny!' She really is so funny. Each night when i tuck her in she also has to roll her eyes at me. i think i'm raising a teenager in a two year old's body. Honestly, she rolls her eyes as far back as she can and keeps them there until i leave. She has this sly grin on her face like...na na na na whatever mom! so funny. Well, there are some jems on our baby girl that is now a little girl. love her.

pics

back in the saddle again!!

we have new comp!! isn't that exciting!?! i think so. it was really expensive and we keep needing to buy more things to get it fully functional. isn't it annoying how you think you will pay one price and you end up paying a ton more, over and over and over again. wouldn't it be nice to go somewhere and have the actual prices marked. like, this comp cost this much which includes all the wires, software, desk, router and whatever else you will need to actually use it. anyway. we have been without internet for about a month so here is the update....dana came for halloween. it was awesome. i really love her and i wish we could live closer. i would be a lot fatter but hey we'd sure have a lot of fun getting there. Alana is close to crawling which is awesome as well. its really fun. she is so big, honestly, she wears 9-12months clothing at this point. i think that she and jade are going to be wearing the same size in not too long. Jade is...a tornato. she realized she is going to be turning two and therefore decided she needed to act her age, early. she moves around the house creating havoc so quickly its hard to believe it really is just one child. Cameron is still doing school. and work. he's tired. come to think of it so am i. i usually am up 4-6times a night. that may not seem too bad (if you're insane) but when you realize that i usually dont go to bed before 11 if i'm lucky...and i am up at the latest 7am....thats a lot of getting in and out of bed. yeah, i'm tired. there are some days when i think- i can i give this all back? just for half a day? thats it. honestly i think if i ever sleep through the night i will wake up and think i had died, or someone else had. i wont know what to do with all the excess energy. Jade's birthday is tomorrow. i have a two year old. me. a two year old. wow. do you ever wake up and think- is this my life? not in a bad way just in a wow, really? i'm at this point? i'm really old enough to be doing this? i do. so anyway, there is an update. i have tons to say as i've been mute for a month so hold on tight!! i'll get some pics up soon too. since i know no one actually reads this we all just look at blogs for the pics really. :)

dana joyce!!

Ok, another post on cam's phone. I just need to share my excitement: Dana will be here in 48 hours!! I can't wait. I'm so lucky to have a best friend that can be silly, serious, fun, intellagent and calm all in one visit. We haven't been able to spend tons of time together for a long time and in a lot of ways our lives are totallydifferent but she is my kindred spirit. She is the sister I got to pick. I am so excited to see her. If anyone wants to join our fun. We are having a halloween party at 3:30 on Saturday. If you want to come show up with a treat ;o}

death

Our comp up and died. It won't even recognize its plugged it. Won't start, nuthin'. So I'm posting this from cam's phone. I just have to say how cool is this phone!! So I will be internet-less for an unforseeably long time. Suck.

halloween

I love to dress up! love it. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that i'm huge fan of costumes. consiquently i love the dress up part of halloween. hate the ghouls and the scary stuff but i love the dress up part. Anyway, for halloween this year we (girls) are going to be fairies. i'm pretty excited about it. we bought some tutus from this lady at the farmer's market (i'm picking up all the completed ones today since i only have jade's) then my creative juices started flowing. is there anything more fun than doing a little crafting project? i'm sure a few things but its high on the list. anyway, so i decorated onesies for the girls then made them these crowns and the little ribbons with sequence will...i dont know they were going to be for the wand but think that will look dumb now that i'm halfway there. so my girls' costumes are almost done, i just need to do their wings. mine and dana's haven't even started. oh yeah...best news!!!! DANA IS COMING TO VISIT ME!!! i'm so excited. dana has been my best friend since seventh grade. you know how you have one of those friends that is just fun all the time and jsut gets you. you dont ahve to explain anything they jsut understand. thats my dana. i can talk to her about anything. i just love her. so wonderfully she is coming to visit over halloween weekend. so she is going to be a fary with us!! she loves dressing up too. anyway. just wanted to share my fun!

best friends

when i was little i always wished for a sister. i used to pray at night that i would somehow in some miracle get a sister. when i realized that i was not going to get a sister i started praying that when i had kids i would have two girls right next to each other, so they could be like my mom and her sister. well i got my wish. and my girls already love each other so much, even though they aren't quite at the same stage in life. i took this great little photo shoot of them in jade's room the other day. jade just loves alana so much. yesterday she was eating an apple then walked over to alana and put it in her mouth. later she took a binkie put it in alana's mouth, took the other one, put it in her mouth and sat down next to alana, five minutes later those binkies were switched. that i think is pretty cute. alana always follows jade with her eyes and laughs at her. i know as they grow they will just become better and better friends. thank you Heavenly Father for giving me two girls, so my daughters can have a sister.

big girl room

well, Alana grew out of her bassanette. amazing. she is wearing 6-9month clothing right now. i put her in some 12monthers actually and just roll up the sleeves sometimes. it is really quite amazing that she has grown so much, so quickly. Anyway, her growing so fast necessitated Jade going into her big girl room. My sweet mother for my birthday last year bought a queen sized bed for Jade to move into. So it was decided she was moving into her room. We went to walmart and i took the kids drapes down. i held them in front of her and said 'Jadynne which one do you want in your big girl room?' she said mickey, pointed to the princesses and then took the tinkerbell drapes and held onto them. a pretty clear sign i thought. i got the comforter that matched. Its actually a twin but considering jade's size i figured it would work out. i headed down the isle when suddenly jade reaches out of the cart and grabs a furry purple pillow and puts it in the cart. i thought, alright, you picked it, if it makes you sleep in a big girl bed ok. we continued shopping. i couldn't really see jade with alana on top of the cart so later i stopped the cart to check on her- she was much to quiet. low and behold, my little darling had arranged the comforter to be behind her. she had her shoes off and was laying on the purple pillow holding onto her new drapes.! oh boy. we decorated up her room with stick on tinkerbells and she was so excited. she kept saying tinkerbell! tinkerbell! at one point (while waiting to go and pick up daddy from school) jade disappeared. i went upstairs and she was laying on her bed sipping away looking at her tinkerbell room. There was really only one hard night of adjustment. naps took about two days but now she is a pro! she loves her bedroom, sher loves her freedom. its pretty amazing to see. plus i totally recommend getting a bed that you and your kid can sleep in, becaus that hard night was a lot easier since i got to fall asleep with her. Anyway- we all have our own rooms now!

the stairs!!!

so, our house is horriblily made, those hydes who grew up in the original house will understand when i say 'a bunch of drunk idiots' made this aptarment. one result is our horrible stairs. they are super skinny, and super steep oh and they are very small steps. a couple of weeks ago i fell down them two days in a row and both times i had alana in my arms. yeah. this was not in the middle of the night either, and no i was not drunk or on any medication. fully awake and fully aware i fell down the stairs. alana was fine thankfully. anyway, the day before i fell for the first time Jade took a major tumble. from the top step down to the door- wahbam!!! huge fall lots of tears, no good. two days later she was half way up and low and behold we hear the noises again. slip bang bang bang. she slipped FACE first down the carpeted stairs then rolled over and came to a stop with her feet on the door and her head slamming into the floor. it was not good. so now our child looks like we beat her. huge rug burn down her nose. wow. hate our stairs. oh and the next day she threw a tantrum outside where she threw herself onto the ground...her forehead right onto the concrete. awesome

some family pics

no phone

i dropped my phone in the sink....it was full of dish water and dirty dishes. we are letting it dry out but as of now it isn't working. so either call cameron's phone or email me. lame.

divorce and tempature

So, yesterday I found out that a couple we know is getting a divorce. This is the second couple I've know personally to get a divorce in the last three months. Wow. I am rattled and i've been trying to think why. I know that divorce happens all the time, i know that couples call it quits everyday so why am i so emotionally torn up abuot this right now? There have been only two people in my whole family to get a divorce, that is aunts and uncles included on both sides...one on each side actually. Anyway, the point is, i'm not personally close to a lot of divorce. Marriage to me has always seemed like a concrete bubble. You get married and that is it, no ifs ands or buts about it, you are married until one of you dies. The only exception is abuse and affairs...thats how i've looked at it. now, my little concrete bubble has transformed into a soap bubble that if blown incorrectly will burst and life will be destroyed. i looked at cameron last night and ijust wanted to hold on to him that much harder. i wanted to do everything i possibly could to make our bubble concrete not soap. so what does this have to do with tempature? well, i love to bake, a pasttime i have greatly neglected due to children. I got some apple's from my sister-in-laws house last week and had to make an apple pie. my sweet mother gave me this cook book that is fabulous and the author is very specific. in order to make this certain pie crust you must use frozen butter and not ever touch it with you hands then leave it in the fridge over night. the next day once the apples are in the pie crust you put it back in your fridge for at least in hour. This way you put in a super cold pie into a super hot oven. seems like a lot of work no? its totally worth it! i mean seriously, this was the best pie crust i've ever eaten, ever, and that includes village in pie, and thanksgiving. usually i have to give half of whatever i make to our neighbors, this time i ate half in one day. And it all has to do with all those stupid little steps about tempature. so heres what i'm thinking, we put all this work into an apple pie- what about our marriages? if you follow a regular cookbook you would never know about the freezer butter and the ziplock bag and finally leaving the stinkin' pie in the fridge for an hour before putting it in the oven that has been preheated for 45mins. then you crust would not be flakey, it would not be-eat half in one day- good. How many of us have followed the simple better homes and garden pink cookbook in marriage? you met the great guy, he had everything checked off on your list, you went to the temple...check, check, check...flour, butter, water. then we're done, put the pie int he oven. how is it coming out? are we finished, is that going to make our bubble concrete forever and ever? i dont think so. i think we have to get really nitty gritty and do really stupid tempature things, we have to do the ziplock bag etc etc. If we put so much time in a pie, a dish that is going to be gone in such a short time, shouldn't we put WAY more into something we want to last forever? am i laying on my concrete every day, over and over, layer after layer so that it never gets worn down into a soap bubble? i know i'm ranting but i need to get this out there, get this down into the great void, to try to write what i'm thinking so that maybe something will sink in and i will always do what i must so that i feel like i do now for my cameron always. i watch a lot of tv, i admit it, its terrible i need to stop, but here ya go. anyway, i always hear these professionals say 'you need to put yourself first' 'you need to be the top of you priority list' and here you go- i know you can crucify me later- i think its BS. i think that you put God first then your marriage. if you are putting your marriage first, both you and your husband than your kids are automattically priority. seriously though, how else are you going to have a relationship with a person who has a totally different background then you? who grew up completely different not to mention they are from another planet? its ludicrious to believe that you only have to follow the simple pink cookbook, you need the 'pie and pastry bible' cookbook. you need the author that is going to tell you how to kneed the dough in the ziplock bag. divorce and tempature, there ya go. i dont want to find out one more person getting a divorce. i want my marriage to be made not of concrete but of diamonds or steel or whatever the heck is the strongest stuff on earth. if i have to put butter in the freezer to do it i will. i love you cameron.

laughing with alana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2y-8pTXsZ4 go here to watch alana laughing. the blog thing wont let me upload vids here so i opened a youtube account so i can share the funniness.

pics

here are some pics over the last month:

updates

ok, i haven't posted in a while so here is a super fast version of some of the stuff happening around here. Jade is a complete two year old. i understand that she is not acutally two until november but dont tell her that because she has hit her terrible twos. our sweet daughter is quite emotional all the time. she throws herself onto the ground with such passion you would think that life and death were at stake, not a marker...she loves makeup, purses, and walking around in everyone else's shoes. She is learning how to talk more and more. acutally for the most part she still sounds like a mix between russian and clingon. yeah, i gave birth to a trekie. but she is getting some pretty funny phrases down such as "i'm funny", "mama, mama, mama, mama!!! i'm done", mine!, open it, and our new favorite "twinkle twinle mummble mummble star...etc" She sings the song with us, she gets about half the words, it really couldn't be cuter. When she is doing something i dont want her to do i usually count and when i get to about two i ask her if she wants to go in time out. her promt reply quite a few times has been "yes". At which point she goes into time out. wow, she is disciplining herself...or maybe she likes time out?? that isn't good, is she craving attention and therefore is acting out?? Jade also really likes fruit. When i go to the grocery store i put her in the cart and whatever produce i put with her i must know that it will not be intact when i get to the check out. every apple, peach, or tomatoe will have at least one bite in it. This didn't seem like such a big deal until we went to the farmers market. We were walking home when i looked down and she had a peach in her hand, she had eaten about a thrid of it. i hadn't bought her a peach. either had cameorn. either had amber. so where exactly did she get the peach? She theived it while we walked by a cart. our daughter is a thief?!? so funny. those are some Jadie gems.
Alana: i just took her to her four month appt and found out that she is in the 'over 100%' in height, and the 50th for weight and all the way down to the 10th in head size. so funny. She is wearing the same size of clothing right now that jade wore last year at this time...when she was almost one. yeah. when she nurses (when that happens...eating for her is rare) she rubs her head and eyes. Jade always kind of held onto me, not alana, she rubs her head. it is so cute. She has a lot more hair than jade did. it is kind of redish blonde. she can roll over both ways. She smiles and chats at herself. last sunday i took her into the mother's room to nurse her. there is a full length mirror in there. As i was burping her, she saw herself in the mirror. the squill was bright and ecstatic. She talked to herself and giggled at herself in the mirror for 10 mins. She follows her daddy with her eyes all the time. She loves to look at him and he can always make her smile so big her binkie falls out of her mouth. She doesn't like to nap or eat. it was a red letter day today because i got her to sleep for two hours...because i held her and bounced on the ball for two hours. She drools like you would not believe, i dont believe it and i'm the one with soaked arms and slobber dripping off me. She wants nothing more than to sit up. when we put her in the bouncy chair she just tries to sit up the entire time. my girls are so cute!! hard sometimes but sure cute.
Cameron has started school again. oh the horror. i'm not kidding. we hate school for him. we have been seriously batting around the idea of him quitting work and only going to school. if we had thought about this eariler and actually done it before this semester than he would be done in april. wow wouldn't that be great. anyway, he hates school with all his heart. work isnt' that much better. but in great news we are getting closer to figuring out what we should do after he graduates. he is also doing allergy shots which is great because that means someday he will be able to breath. he is as handsome as ever and works so hard. he is jade's favorite. really he is everyone's. he is a great daddy. a great husb. with all the really hard things he is truly a great guy, aren't i lucky?
my sweet amazing friend Dana gave me a great gift. she bought me a membership to a gym so i could get out and exercise so that is the big thing happenng with me. it has been so nice to exercise, i mean really sweat. isn't dana amazing? yes yes she is. i've been reading quite a bit and have lots of thoughts about those things. i think though those will have to come in later posts because this is long (lets be honest i'm not short winded) i did have a great experiance yesterday morning that i'd like to share. when i was about 19 i had this dream where i was laying in bed and two curly haired little girls were laying on either side of me. that was my whole dream. i remember how much hope that dream gave me, how it made me want to better to deserve those little girls. my dream happened yesterday. alana was asleep next to me and jade was watching a show on cam's phone. i felt such peace, and fulfillment with those little warm bodies next to me. my girls, my babies. this is what is important in life, our families. i think that the world outside is so loud and persasive that we forget how prescious our families are. what could be more important then these children? nothing. anyway, for that moment i felt complete. i think that is what mothers live for- those moments- those moments of joy and fulfillment. they do not come everyday or even everyweek, but come they do and they make all the crying, bouncing and poop worth it.
we've had Amber cameron's sister visiting us for the past couple of weeks so that has been wonderful. it has been so nice to get close to her and get to know her better.
so that is what has been going on with our family, i'll post pics tomorrow. maybe, if i get to it. ;o)

Funerals...

Cameron's step grandmother died last week and therefore we went to a funeral today. I sat there with a crowd of people that i'd largely not met and had nothing but death and the meaning of life on my mind. i guess that is kinda the point right- death makes us all think, really hard about life, death, purpose etc etc. This little old lady died on the operating table at 89. She took care of her husband who has alztimers (ok i cant spell it and you all know what i'm talking about). The day she died they had to keep telling him that she was dead, he had to live it over and over again. He finally remembers now. The entire viewing he stood by her casket and held her hand. The whole time. Even though i didn't know them i almost cried, it was so sweet, so tender, and so heart wrenching. Eventually everyone we know will die, including us. Everything we have will be gone. The only thing we will leave behind in this world is a memory, an idea of who we used to be. i dont think that idea or memory will ever be complete as no one knows us perfectly (except God and i'm talking about all the mortals living here on this ol' green planet). so my thought was- what kind of memory are we leaving behind? What kind of idea? When others will think of us will their minds go to happy times, to grand images and ideas or will it be only saddness, or worse- nothing. When i die i hope those left behind will think of joy, of laughter but most of all goodness. isn't that what we all want? a little more goodness in this world? i look around at all the pain in the world and think to myself- why? whats the point? i know that i know all the awnsers to this their the gospel. without the knowledge of the God's plan i'd be one pissed and disillisioned kid. But even this that knowledge at times i wonder- Heavenly Father, Why? Why do children have to experiance so much pain? How can you let these little angels come down to horrible parents, or a starving nation, or violence...this list could be endless. So in this cruel world where there is blood, suffering, wailing, and silent tears i think we all just want to have a little more good to counter act the bad. I want to be one of those people that adds goodness. i'm know i'm being repeditive here but i dont know how else to say it. I'm rambling.
Ok, on the reason i got on to write this post- for the funeral i made Jade and Alana black dresses. i know they didn't need to wear black but it was really an oppurtinuty to have some creative expression in the world. I didn't get a pattern- as those suckers are 15 bucks a pop. So i just bought some fabric two zippers and some clasps. i share this because...well i'm flippin' proud of myself. i am not a seamstress, seriously i dont have the patience. but isn't it astounding what we can do with a little time and ambition? i never would have thought i could do this, but i overcame my self doubts and just tried it!!! So here you go! my masterpieces.

pics

k i cant figure out how to turn this stupid song off, sorry, mute it from the top jeez

nursing again.

well, i'm on a rollercoaster ride. the morning after i wrote my last blog Alana decided she wasn't ready to stop nursing, either that or she was no longer going to eat ever- quite the diet plan. She would no longer take a bottle, at all. I ate milk and oreos the night before so that i wouldn't be tempted to nurse her. Well, she just cried, screamed and wouldn't eat. obviously i started to break down. I called the doctor, and they said that since she had never had blood in her stool nor had ever had a diaper rash she probibly wasn't allergic to dairy (awesome, i've been without dairy for no reason). They said, start nursing her again and see what happens, come in if things get worse. Well she nursed (kinda) and stopped screaming. Now, she sometimes nurses and sometimes wants a bottle, i can never quite figure it out but the result of all of this--crying a lot of crying. For the past couple nights she has been waking up multiple times. She is even more squirmy then before which makes nursing laying down and both of us falling asleep impossible. I dont know what is wrong, i dont know why my child is unhappy a lot, and in pain a lot. We cant allergy test her yet because she is too young. I'm at my wits end, i'm tired. Our sweet jade hasn't skipped out on being an almost two year old either. Two nights ago the cute thing woke us up at 3am...singing. She sang for more than an hour, than cried. Last night she get us up at the same time because she was having a full blown conversation, than cried. Between these two girls i'm quite tired and Cameron and i have run short on patience. its ok though because they are beautiful and amazing little things when they are happy. thought you may want the update.

Giving up

After a long and painful process we have decided to switch Alana over to formula. It just didn't seem to matter what i did she would still get upset. I never knew whether she would be happy or not. I'm so sick of her tummy hurting. So, we, well me mostly, made the painful decision to switch her over. I cried most of the night last night. I never thought i would really like nursing. The idea was weird to me. However, i love nursing. I love holding my baby close to me and giving her something no one else can. I love the bond that i feel. I love when she looked up at me with those big blue eyes. I had really agonized over this. Everywhere you read tells you that nursing is best and that you should nurse no matter what. Well, finally I thought, how could it be better than formual if her tummy hurts. If i can make the pain stop wouldn't that be better. So, we are doing that. I'm hoping this is going to really make a difference. Now my boobs are so engorged- ouch. I never had to do this Jadynne since my milk just dried up with her. So i hope that the milk goes away quickly. I think the most important thing with kids is what is right for them, what makes them the most healthy (way to go captian obvious). But i think sometimes we try to follow experts or a philisophy or ideology (man i was going for a word i could spell i came up with two i cant spell). I guess its just me, but its hard not the listen to everyone in the world and think - i should do it this way- and not listen to the voice in my head. I listened to that voice and gave her formula last night and guess what- she slept for 11 hours. she sleeps better than jade. goodbye nursing hello formula.

PS I love you.

Ok, we got the movie 'PS I love you' yesterday in Netflix. Wow. I cried through the entire movie. It was heart renching. I'm sure some people didn't like it but i really did. I never want to watch it again but the first go around i really liked it. Its about a women whose husband dies. I seriously cried the entire movie. As i was watching it i was hyperly aware of the warm body sleeping behind me on the couch. i couldn't help but think of what i would feel, what i would do if my husband suddenly died. It would kill me. i couldn't help but look at this girl and think 'yeah i'd be freaking out too'. Anyway, i cried i laughed and in the end i felt better. it gives a hint of a tidy ending but just a hint. i thought it was really good that at first they dont make everything perfect, more realistic in my opionon. i mean they have to give a hint but before the hint i felt that the ending was great. why is it that we girls are so silly? why do we think our husbands can fix everything and should know everything without us even saying them or thinking them for that matter? i think we need to just appreciate that man in our lives. we need to give him a little bit more slack. how many times are we too critical or too demanding. how often do we get mad over things that dont really matter? whens the last time we just let go, let go of the houseworries, the kid worries, the bills, all the worries and just had fun with our man? that we just calmed down a little and let everything just be. i'm rambling. the point is, i watched this super crying movie and couldn't help going away thankful that the man in my life is still in my life- with a renewed sense of wanting to always treat him wonderfully and really apprcaite that he is my husband.

ok i had this amazingly great blog written up yesterday and then my internet stopped working, pooped out, and now i have to start over. no good. i mean my blog was witty, interesting, funny, well written...now you are all stuck with my usual- hurried insanity. i never have time to really get these things right. i mean i dont even read over them after i've typed them, so its truly stream of consciousness writing, misspelled words and all. i tried to post a vid of jade talking but it wont work so you'll just have to talk to jade yourself to hear the cuteness. the pics are just some recent ones. David came up to provo a couple of weeks ago and jade fell in love, but really whats not to love about this kid? i love him. I went to garage sale shopping this last saturday and boy did i score!!! i spent $11 and got 13 things. yeah it was awesome. i mean i got two china tea pots that are beautiful, my mom a christmas present (lets be honest i'll probibly end up giving it to her early), a bunch of toys for jade, some shoes and skirt. The best part about the skirt is A) it fits me and B) its a a size 8!!!! thats right i'm back down to a size 8, i'm so stoked! those 300situps five times a week is working! Enough about my nonsense, the best purchase of the whole day by far is the fisher price kitchen for Jade. She adores this, honestly, huge love there. She plays and play, pulls our finger over to her so we can play with her, plays. its so cute. i made her an apron so now we can cook together. it is going to be so fun to go and do things together as girls as my kids grow. i was so worried about having girls but man this is fun! Potty training update: quit. Seriously to worst experiance of my life. are you flippin' kidding me?!?! I tried the '3 day' training process and was done in 8 hours. i've never had so much pee on me in my life, ever. you are supposed to just follow your kid around for three days and as soon as they start to go to the bathroom you rush them to the potty. you are supposed to constantly be praising them, and constantly telling htem to tell you when theyneed to go potty. i'm sure that if you dont have any other kids and a nanny and a biohazard suit this method would be great. as i have a baby, no nanny, and a serious lack of biohazard suit this method was a peeing hell. Jade peed: in front of the tv, on her chair, in Cameron's shoes, in her shoes, on my lap, oh my hip while holding her, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, around the potty...everywhere- a zillion time. i ran the panties through the washer three times in three hours, it was going constantly. she went through at least 50 pair of panties in three hours. perhaps that doesn't sound like a lot to you folks. well i'd like to challange all those naysayers out there- change your undies 50 times in three hours, yeah feel the burn! at one point i had no panties left as some where drying in the dryer, some where in the washer and the rest where full of pee on the washer. i mean this is nuts. if i wanted to get pee all over me i'd be a nurse- as least they get paid for it. why do you think i quit that job working in the handicapped home? i was sick of smelling of pee and adult diapers when i got home. i was so stressed out doing this stupid potty training. i didn't know there could be that amount of liquid in such a small body. so, next month we are going to try something else- something with where i'll get less pee on me is the plan. I'm learning how to belly dance. i decided that this would be a fun way to exercise. we have netflix and so i can get this beginners belly dancing video online. its stinkin' hard! i'm not kidding. it took forever for me to figure out how to do the horizontal 8 with only my rib cage. i'm pretty sure i still look like a fool but its fun. i've never thought of myself as a sexy person, i mean i'm gangly and oddly shaped. you watch those dancers, really anywhere, and think whoa how do they move like that. mostly when i try to dance seriously i just look foolish- not anymore my friends! i'm going to learn how to move so that i dont look like a fool and even better i'm getting great abs while i do it! ha! So, there is the update to our lives.

Success!!!!!!

I would like everyone to know that Jadynne went #2 on the pot this morning. i could tell she needed to go, she had that face so i picked her up and put her on the pot. She stayed there until she was done. When she was done she got up and walked over to me, huge grin on her face. i was so excited i just about threw a party. she was stoked about the stickers so i figured what the hay and let her put up two. i know this is not completely over considering the next minute she was peeing on the floor but every little step counts right? i've decided to try the whole three day thing since she now has learned how to take off her pants. That was my one saving grace if i put pants on her she couldn't get her diaper off...no go now. so i feel forced to make this happen, unless i want a naked peeing child running around forever. please, pray this works. oh and more great news, usually to get alana to go to sleep i have to wrap her up super tight and bounce her to sleep. this morning i laid her down on a blanket on the floor, she rolled over and fell asleep, BY HERSELF. wow. this is amazing. my life is getting so much easier. heavenly father is blessing ne right and left. pray this potty training works.

potty training

We are starting potty training. i honestly wish i could have this sweet chair for jadynne. I'm pretty sure she would be already trained, heck i'd use this and feel like a princess the whole time. Anyway, I decided that now is the time because A) Jade takes off her diaper at any oppurtunity. B) Once her diaper is off if she needs to go to the bathroom she does...anywhere...in her bed for example, poop for example. C) She understands what i'm saying and can respond even if it is with attitude she can respond. D) She takes off her daiper and pees in her bed, did i mention that one? Anyway, so i bought her this little training potty. She loved it! well, not at first. At first she was terrified of it. She wouldn't be in the same room with it and she would cry (scream) if i asked her if she wanted to see it. So i just let it be. i did something else. Pretty soon Jade was walking into the bathroom pulling up the lid and sitting down. i asked her if she needed to go potty 'yes' so we did the whole undressing thing and i sat her down. she is usually pretty shy about going to the bathroom so i just sat outside and talked to her. for the next twenty minutes my naked daughter ran back and forth between me and her potty sitting laughing, reading a book and then up running over to me talking in gibberish. When i tried to put undies on her she flipped, so i tried a diaper more flipping then i realized: she doesn't care abuot potty training she is excited to be naked. She loves to be naked. What more could i expect from the daughter of a memeber of the naked as a jaybird club? I guess that she would like swimming more. Anyway i'm not trying to push this on her but yesterday she actually went a little and got a star on her chart. We use big girl undies for a while everyday and i hope that she will just get this. wow wouldn't that be amazing to only change on kid's diapers? wouldn't it be so much cheaper!?! Awesome.
funny story: Jade is super smart, i've decided, either that or she has an amazing memory. We read her a lot of books, mostly the same ones over and over but still i've got those suckers memorized. Yesterday we were at the dentist and i'd brought her Hop on Pop book. She picked it up and didn't want me to read. she'd turn the pages and on the right page she'd say 'hop pop hop pop' or 'three, tree, three, tree' or 'ball, wall, ball, wall'. so cute. what i've alwasy wanted a reader!
here are the words she uses on a constant basis: up, down, milk, sippy, yes, no, no, no, one, two, three, black,all done, more, juice, no, DADA, DADA, DADA, dada, mama, dada, maemae, eyes, nose, mouth, mine, baby, poopoo, poddy. We can get her to mimic a lot more but i think she actually knows what those ones mean. ISn't it amazing to see a child grow, to see them learn and develop? Wow, i have a lot to say this morning i obviously haven't talked to mom enough lately ;)

baths

Jadynne my sweet girl is now in the habit of making even more of a mess then she was in the past, which is shocking considering the messes pervious. We went to Ikea and got her plates, cups and flatwear. I thought it would be a good time to try to get her to use all these things, get her a little bit more grown up. Giving her these fun colorful dishes has seem to ahve the opposite effect though. She now dumps everything and when all the food in on her tray she puts the plate, bowl, or cup on her head and rubs....yes rubs. This can be quite amazing with eggs, or speghetti. Cereal ends up being on her tray instead of in her bowl. When every bit of liquid is on the tray the splashing starts. As a consequence to this Jade takes multiple baths a day. Perhaps the only reason she is doing all of this is because she loves baths...she is more diabolical then i thought. Either that or food was never this fun before.
so here are some pics of late- we even have a smiling girl!!! Alana can smile.

3 years

Today is my three year wedding anniversary. Today three years ago I ran away with my best friend. I couldn't have picked a better man. He is perfect for me. It makes me cry just to think about how lucky I am. I could go on and on about all the wonderful things about Cameron. I am sure everyone would stop reading after this sentence if I did that. So I will simply say that I am the luckiest woman on the planet. I love my husband so much more now then I did and I know i will love him even more in another year and on and on. He is my best friend. He is my greatest ally. We may have started out in a nontradtional way, we may have rushed it a bit but, being with Cameron was the best decision i've ever made. he makes me better, stronger and happy. Anyone would be lucky to count Cameron as a friend and i count myself the luckiest of all because i get to have him come home to me. he picked me to say i do to. he picked me to jump into a river with. i love you sweetheart.