i'm reading a fabulous book right now...i'm just recommending it-- In defense of food: an eater's manifesto by michael pollan
It is so interesting, seriously...dont worry more posts will come from ths little gem. just pick it up and read it. but be prepared to not want to go to the grocery store for a while.
Monday, February 8, 2010
neat
well, i stole an idea from my neighbor, tina. we turned the closet under our stairs into a play area, with the very back being a nook for reading. my girls LOVE it. plus it was quite fun to make actually. we hung a rainbow curtain right at the enterance. then we hung up christmas lights all around, put wall stickers up and stuffed that thing to the brim with all of jade's stuff. fun.
Alana is crawling all over the place and now she sits up well enough that both girls can sit up in the bath together. how cute is that? i'll tell you- very cute. Jade is doing great in the potty area of life. a few accidents but really she is so great. its amazing.
oh the other night cam and i had a 'date'. we tried to watch termanator (stinkin' scratched netflix). i went to the dollar store and got drinks and snacks for us. i got in my rockin' footies. it was fun even though the movie didn't work very well.
yeah, so here are some pics of the cute girls in my life. dont you just love a little naked baby?
Alana is crawling all over the place and now she sits up well enough that both girls can sit up in the bath together. how cute is that? i'll tell you- very cute. Jade is doing great in the potty area of life. a few accidents but really she is so great. its amazing.
oh the other night cam and i had a 'date'. we tried to watch termanator (stinkin' scratched netflix). i went to the dollar store and got drinks and snacks for us. i got in my rockin' footies. it was fun even though the movie didn't work very well.
yeah, so here are some pics of the cute girls in my life. dont you just love a little naked baby?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
i'm a night owl
*sorry about the spelling...if you dont know my spelling issues-deal. also, i dont have a filter this late so...deal...or dont read it. i'm simply writing for the sake of writing...*
why do i stay up well past when i should be in bed? its past two here and i'm still up. my mind is wandering and truly i dont want to go to sleep. i know that i would feel better the sooner i went to bed but that would also mean that this night would be over. i'm not even doing anything, just allowing junk to stream in from the glowing screen. before i had kids i used to stay up this late all the time. often i would go for walks. the moonlight would drape around me making the ground glow. With it full above my head i felt like i was in another world, a world all my own. it was safe, quiet. nothing moved, all slept but me. in my silence and solitude i could find the peace i never found while the sun was shinning. perhaps this seems terrible to those who love the day. trust me i love the sun. its warm rays touching my body. but there is something special about the moon. that white globe you can stare at. asking questions and mumbling responses just doesn't quite hold up in the glaring daylight. in Fallon i had a lot of space to walk. i could pound out my pain, my troubles with the owls and the cayotes. we were comfortable together. my quiet steps, their silent eyes. the sage were more than spikey bushes, the horizons didn't end. secrets could be kept in the middle of the night. anything was possible at night- witches, fairies, dreams you didn't dare to tell anyone but the silent glowing banks hugging flowing rivers. when i moved to utah my walks didn't really change, just the scereny. i know i worried my parents. if only they knew i trecked the small streets of provo or cedar alone--so late. i found little houses with black windows that held lives i could only imagine. creepy guys not quite sure what to make of a lonely wanna-be goth-girl milling around in the middle of the night. i found anwsers driving in my car (when that finally came) well past three in the morning. the most beautiful mornings where after long nights. even with a full moon before the sun comes up the world starts to lighten. you're sure it was light before but suddenly grass begans to have a color, the dirt turns from white to a kind of brown, depth returns to those bushes. everything is possible as light peeks over mountain tops. yellow turns trees into golden statues reminding you that life exists. pink and purple help you to see the light blue of the sky. suddenly birds will start cherping. the sun doesn't just light up the world as it starts its daily journey it warms your soul as well. a warm cup poured directly into your core. you are that glowing tree, surounded by gold and pixie dust. i think i got through depression because of those long nights of walking, wondering why, wondering how, wondering...wondering...and those mornings that told me i would someday find answers. that someday i wouldn't cry, that someday i would love. and i do. so here i sit at 2:33 and why am i awake? i've fed alana twice since we first put her down and i just tried help Jade go potty then 'nuggled' with her until she was happy, and yet i'm restless. my sweet husband is dead asleep behind me on the couch. why cant i join him? i think it may be the silence. the alone-ness. there is nothing but the sound of my clicking, the hum of the computer. for the first time all day i can just think. i can ponder. my brain and me can be reunited. oh dear friend how are you this good night? i imagine that its just me and this computer with nothing but black behind me. there is nothing but these words, the beauty of them. the glory of langauge. i can imagine all over again. i can delve into the stories in my head. i can pretend that i'm a writer, i can go into my 'own little cornor'. tiredness seeps into my bones, my stomach, my squishy middle...but going to sleep...it means i have to wake up and be a mom again tomorrow. it means that all day i get to try again at all the things i feel i fail at. i know that when the sun is shinning everything will be fine. but tonight...in this blanket, this familiar blanket. it wraps around me, holding me tightly, reminding me that i am a woman. reminding me i am seperate. my brain still tinkers around. i am all that i want to be and all that i could be. nothing is lost. sinking into this alone-ness feels like a warm bath. my dear friend the moon, i wish we could once more walk together on those paths of country dirt. someday i'll lay in dew filled grass and count the stars again. i'll watch you swim across the sky. i'll bathe beneath your light. but for tonight i know i must seek sleep for alana will awaken again before its even five and then both kids will be up at seven. good night self, good night pixies.
why do i stay up well past when i should be in bed? its past two here and i'm still up. my mind is wandering and truly i dont want to go to sleep. i know that i would feel better the sooner i went to bed but that would also mean that this night would be over. i'm not even doing anything, just allowing junk to stream in from the glowing screen. before i had kids i used to stay up this late all the time. often i would go for walks. the moonlight would drape around me making the ground glow. With it full above my head i felt like i was in another world, a world all my own. it was safe, quiet. nothing moved, all slept but me. in my silence and solitude i could find the peace i never found while the sun was shinning. perhaps this seems terrible to those who love the day. trust me i love the sun. its warm rays touching my body. but there is something special about the moon. that white globe you can stare at. asking questions and mumbling responses just doesn't quite hold up in the glaring daylight. in Fallon i had a lot of space to walk. i could pound out my pain, my troubles with the owls and the cayotes. we were comfortable together. my quiet steps, their silent eyes. the sage were more than spikey bushes, the horizons didn't end. secrets could be kept in the middle of the night. anything was possible at night- witches, fairies, dreams you didn't dare to tell anyone but the silent glowing banks hugging flowing rivers. when i moved to utah my walks didn't really change, just the scereny. i know i worried my parents. if only they knew i trecked the small streets of provo or cedar alone--so late. i found little houses with black windows that held lives i could only imagine. creepy guys not quite sure what to make of a lonely wanna-be goth-girl milling around in the middle of the night. i found anwsers driving in my car (when that finally came) well past three in the morning. the most beautiful mornings where after long nights. even with a full moon before the sun comes up the world starts to lighten. you're sure it was light before but suddenly grass begans to have a color, the dirt turns from white to a kind of brown, depth returns to those bushes. everything is possible as light peeks over mountain tops. yellow turns trees into golden statues reminding you that life exists. pink and purple help you to see the light blue of the sky. suddenly birds will start cherping. the sun doesn't just light up the world as it starts its daily journey it warms your soul as well. a warm cup poured directly into your core. you are that glowing tree, surounded by gold and pixie dust. i think i got through depression because of those long nights of walking, wondering why, wondering how, wondering...wondering...and those mornings that told me i would someday find answers. that someday i wouldn't cry, that someday i would love. and i do. so here i sit at 2:33 and why am i awake? i've fed alana twice since we first put her down and i just tried help Jade go potty then 'nuggled' with her until she was happy, and yet i'm restless. my sweet husband is dead asleep behind me on the couch. why cant i join him? i think it may be the silence. the alone-ness. there is nothing but the sound of my clicking, the hum of the computer. for the first time all day i can just think. i can ponder. my brain and me can be reunited. oh dear friend how are you this good night? i imagine that its just me and this computer with nothing but black behind me. there is nothing but these words, the beauty of them. the glory of langauge. i can imagine all over again. i can delve into the stories in my head. i can pretend that i'm a writer, i can go into my 'own little cornor'. tiredness seeps into my bones, my stomach, my squishy middle...but going to sleep...it means i have to wake up and be a mom again tomorrow. it means that all day i get to try again at all the things i feel i fail at. i know that when the sun is shinning everything will be fine. but tonight...in this blanket, this familiar blanket. it wraps around me, holding me tightly, reminding me that i am a woman. reminding me i am seperate. my brain still tinkers around. i am all that i want to be and all that i could be. nothing is lost. sinking into this alone-ness feels like a warm bath. my dear friend the moon, i wish we could once more walk together on those paths of country dirt. someday i'll lay in dew filled grass and count the stars again. i'll watch you swim across the sky. i'll bathe beneath your light. but for tonight i know i must seek sleep for alana will awaken again before its even five and then both kids will be up at seven. good night self, good night pixies.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
a few things...
Ok! so...here are the wonderful things that have been going down in our little abode. First and foremost- i turned 25. wow. its an odd feeling to suddenly be a REAL adult. I mean before 25 you cant rent a car and you can still excuse all your bad behavior on the fact that you are 'young', 'immature' and it could be endearing. Now...that is not the case. i now am old enough to have two children and its not weird. The weirder thing is that when my mom turned 25 she had four children...wow. anyway. it was a great birthday. my mom came up and we all know that is the best present i could get. cameron, my mom and i all went to the Hale Center theater to watch 'The Importance of Being Earnest'. Hilarious! honestly, i dont know who was playing Celia but she stole the show, she was a roit. Then on Thursday night cameron and I went out on the town...well really we went to a hotel, swam and slept. But this is the first time since having Jadynne that we were alone all night long together. it was amazing. seriously, to sleep uninturupted for eight straight hours...unbelievable! We went to Ikea on friday and made my organization bug turn into a full blown illness. my phone died saturday morning so when i finally got it plugged in and running sunday i had some messages. As i lay in bed sunday night i saw all the little blessings that the Lord had given me in the last few days. I could see them stack one by one in front of me reminding me that He is always there and listening to my prayers. Here is the biggest blessing--well miracle really- JADE IS POTTY TRAINED!! seriously, i'm not kidding. I didn't even do anything, she just did it. on sunday we put a diaper on her for church because we didn't trust her in nursery but other than that she has been in panties since saturday. We have only had two accidents--both on sunday and both were because we didn't get her to the potty in time. on sunday we went for a walk and she made it the entire walk! i know! we put her in daipers at night (simply because i'm lazy and dont want to hastle with changing queen sheets if she does have an accident) but she doesn't even really pee in her diapers! i haven't cleaned up a poopy diaper from her in a WEEK! I mean now she runs to the potty when she needs to go and before naps or bed she goes to the bathroom. I'll say 'jade why dont you try to go since its nap time' and dun duh duhhhhh she goes!!! i know that you are all sick of the peeing stories but this is truly a miracle in my life. it will save us at least $50 a month. wow. then my mom got me a bread maker for my birthday--i've been really wanting one-- with that machine and a potty trained girl we will be saving $70 a month. wow. its just been great over here. i think i'm getting a sinus infection and alana is sick but i'm not even sweating it because--JADE IS A BIG GIRL.
It really was wonderful to have my mom here for a few days. i really wish we lived closer because she is one of my best friends. we can just talk and talk and there is never any worry that we are talking too much, are too overbearing, or just in some way being rude. the best part is that we always talk about interesting things. always. i love my mom. she thinks. she discusses. I was talking to my sister in law the other day and found out that yes truly i do talk to much, i dont allow others to get a word in edge whys. i'm sorry about that. i guess i just expect people to intrupt me when they have something to say, like how my family does. anyway, that is my new goal- shut up and listen. there you are, life is great at the bradys.
It really was wonderful to have my mom here for a few days. i really wish we lived closer because she is one of my best friends. we can just talk and talk and there is never any worry that we are talking too much, are too overbearing, or just in some way being rude. the best part is that we always talk about interesting things. always. i love my mom. she thinks. she discusses. I was talking to my sister in law the other day and found out that yes truly i do talk to much, i dont allow others to get a word in edge whys. i'm sorry about that. i guess i just expect people to intrupt me when they have something to say, like how my family does. anyway, that is my new goal- shut up and listen. there you are, life is great at the bradys.
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