First big booboo

Well, Jadynne now looks like a beaten child. Yesterday, I was going to pick up Cameron. Jadie is big enough that she climbs up the stairs to our front outside step and then waits for me to lock the door, then I pick her up and carry her down the concrete stairs, since she hasn't figured out how to get down those ones (they hurt to slide down...no carpet). This is what usually happens. Yesterday slow motion occurred and I witnessed what no mother wishes to see - my child falling. As I was busily eating a sandwich and locking the door Jade changed our whole routine. I think that she must have backed up too far because as I turned around I saw her fall right onto the side of her face. We were standing at the top of the stairs and so she fell from the top step down to ground level...that is concrete. I was really worried about her neck because it looked like all her weight was on her now terribly bent neck. She must have gotten one arm out to somewhat save her face since there are scratches on her arm. Of course she cried so badly that our neighbors came outside to make sure that no one had died. It was so scary. It felt like I was moving in slow motion, I couldn't grab her in time. Then when I had her in my arms I was frozen. I couldn't make it back in my house. All I could do was stand on my steps and try to calm Jade and make sure there wasn't any perminate damage. It was horrible. Finally she did calm down, of course. I'm sure she is fine as she isn't acting funny or anything, so it seems she walks away with only badges of her fight with the concrete. I will be so happy when I have a house, that has grass.

This of course turned out to be a red letter day for me. Not only did I feel like a crappy mother because she looks like a beaten child but then I had mutual where I continued to show that I am not capable of being a mom. I went to mutual and Cameron called me 10mins after I had left and said Jade wouldn't stop crying. So, I went home and got her- she had fallen on her head- she needed her mama. Of course since we were going to the Bean museum I had girls in the car and in my rush to get going I didn't check to see if she had shoes on or if her diaper was changed...yeah. So we went to the museum and my poor child walked around in her socks with huge scratches on her face and her hair an absolute mess. Then as we were gathering everyone up one of the other leaders (not me of course) noticed that Jade had wet threw her diaper, her onesie and her pants....yeah. I didn't notice, someone else did. I had no change of clothes for her and she couldn't stay in her wet clothes. The only item of clothing I had in my bag was a sweater that had orange juice dried on it, so it smelt like vinegar. Yeah, Me, the amazing mother carried my child out in socks and a smelly sweater...It was a red letter day. It seems as soon as you think you've got a handle on things something happens to remind you that no really you cant handle your life.
On a more positive note, I've been so happy and content with my life lately that I actually wrote a poem. Now this post is so long I'm assuming none of you will read it, haha. I'm posting it just because a)I dont want to lose it and B) I want you all to know how happy I am in my current situation (minus yesterday's amazing display of ineptitude.
The petal falling walk underscores my mood
No longer needing glasses for I see the world anew
My rosy view is shimmering in gold and purple too
A heart once beat in my chest ; It now resides outside
Its split between a little tike and man who walks beside
Soon it will grow again, another will hold my soul
Dripping golden sunlight fills my empty chest
A shell upon the sea shore beautiful it sits
Put your ear up to my chest, an ocean you will hear
Sounds of laughter and pattering feet, crash upon this shore
Our legs like seaweed, forever entwined; there is no space between
You hold me tight, you lift me up, your words are more than gold
Rose colored glasses are thrown away for I see the world anew

Herbs

On Monday I hit 36 weeks. Wow. Considering I had Jade at 38 weeks this is kind of a big deal. I could be having a baby in a little over two weeks. Then again with this baby I could also go overdue and not have her for more than a month. The joys. Yesterday I went to the health food store to get all these herbs to help my pregnancy along. It was not cheap. This whole birthing at home with a midwife has been such an interesting experiance. I have loved it. In doing it this way there is so much more preporation of your actual body then when I had Jadie. My midwife emphisizes my health in a way that my OB never did. She wants to know not only if I'm taking pre-natals but what kind of diet I have. She wants to make sure that I get some kind of exercise in. Then yesterday I got a list of all the herbs to be taking now that the baby is close to coming. When I went to my OB first they never even knew who I was but to them I was simply a number on a chart. Not once did my doctor or any of the nurses talk to me aobut what I was eating or any kind of herbs that would help with the birth. I know that a homebirth or a midwife isn't for everyone but, I just want to put out there- if you have ever been unsatisfied with your OB try a midwife. Even though it is more work doing a baby this way I fully believe it is worth it. I know that there is still a possibility that I will have this baby in the hospital and if that is the case it will be ok, I will not regret using a midwife. Birth is the amazing process of bringing new life into the world and I feel so much more prepared than I did with Jade. I feel more informed and I feel like the things I am doing will help me. I hope that I will actually be able to have this baby at home. I think that in so doing I will be able to prove to myself that my body is made to do this. That we as women need to listen to our bodies and trust them. That we can do hard things, even things that seem impossible. I know that every mother out there that doesn't feel this way is rolling their eyes thinking- christie you're nuts. I dont care. I dont care if everyone thinks I'm crazy. I'm doing more to prepare physically for this baby then I did with Jade and my body is made to have babies. This is a natural process, and it can, I believe, be beautiful if we are prepared and stop being afraid. In other cultures mothers prepare for birth, they are surrounded by others to support and care for them. Not the US. Here, we go to the doctor and we believe everything they say, as though they know everything. I'm not saying doctors dont know things, they do. They went to a lot of school and they have their place. I just think that we should trust our bodies over our doctors because although our doctors are experts they are not experts on OUR bodies, only we are. I'm ranting. All I'm saying is that at first I was shocked by the price of all these herbs but now I think- why not. They wont hurt me and if they help great. Heavenly Father made this earth and the things on it for our benefit why not use the herbs around us that millions of women before us have used, with success. I wish others could catch this fever I have about birth. This fever that says- We are strong. That I as a woman can do things that are hard. I was put on this earth to do somehting very hard and I CAN do it. I can bring life into this world. I can be a mother, I dont need to be afraid of the pain and the sleepless nights ahead of me. I dont have to be scared that I'll die with two kids. I was put here to be a mother and I can do it, the heavens and angels will help me because this will not be easy but it will be worth it. We need to stop looking around and thinking about what we wish we were like. We need to stop being so harsh with ourselves. We are powerful and strong- why? because we are women! Men are powerful and strong too. We dont have to take from each other. We dont need to compete. Instead, we can both be strong. We can be proud to be women without hating men. And men can be proud to be Men without hating on women. I beg all of us to look at ourselves and see how wonderful we are. See that we are powerful, see that we are beautiful. We are amazing the way we are. Who wants to be a copy of someone else? We each have special and important things laid out for us to do, so lets stop being afraid of failure, lets stop being afraid of others, lets just stop being afraid. You, me, him, her, them...Lets be Powerful because we are, we just have to believe it. I think this is what this process with the midwife has taught me. It has taught me to be proud of who and what I am. It has taught me to trust myself and educate myself on issues. It has taught me that although there my be pain ahead it will be ok, that I can do anything, I can live through any amount of pain, I can do things that seem impossible. I has taught me to trust in myself and in my Father in Heaven because with him all things are possible. This is my goal, stop being afriad and just believe, just know that with God on my side I can do anything no matter how much it hurts I can do anything at all.

Easter

Happy Easter! So, cute! Of course Grammy bought Jadynne an Easter dress to match all her Hyde cousins...Can you believe those awesome shoes!

We were privleged enough to be invited to Roger and Ellen's for Easter egg hunting and dinner. Of course, it was amazing. We had a wonderful time. We feel so blessed to live so close to Cameron's family. Often we feel like they have adopted us. It was a wonderful day. There are also some pics of my huge belly. I grew literally overnight! Just over a month left here! woohoo! Lets meet the new center of the world.
I couldn't help but post this- We love this little mexican fast food joint... Cameron, being wrapped around Jade's finger, gave her the entire Horchata to drink from...obviously she didn't want to give it up. Our little girl has so much personality, and attitude! This little thing will not get walked all over when she is older.
Oh I need to tell one more story about her. We went to the park when my parents were in town. While on the jungle gym two little boys came up to play with her. One was 3 the other was 6. The 6 year old asked if he could play with her. These two boys then followed her around. They held her hand and tried to help her up the little hump. They wanted to go down the slide with her and help her climb up to the levels i wont let her get to. IT was so cute. She may not have a ton of hair but that doesn't change how cute she is. So funny.

Confrence Weekend

My wonderful parents came into to town over confrence weekend it was great. David was able to drive up to be with us from Cedar so we had a full house. It was wonderful. Confrence of course makes us all want to be so much better. But, here are some pics of that weekend. Daddy with Jadynne, our whole family- we all make 'the face' together, and of course Pappa had to get Jadynne some new clothes (Thanks mom). She looked so stinkin' cute, I have a million pics of her in this outfit, so bear with me as I put a fraction of them on here. We just had a wonderful time with my family. Someday I will convince Cameron that moving to Nevada would be the best choice of our lives!! It was a great weekend.

I just felt that Confrence was wonderful. I think the major themes that hit me where: faith and go to the temple. This is probibly because this is what I needed to hear. But, in listening to our prophets I just felt that we all need to just have faith that the Lord will take care of us. I've been reading in 2 Nephi (the Isaiah chapters) and of course most of it has to do with the scattering and gathering of Isreal. In this I've been struck by how often punishment is promised to the wicked and blessings are promised to the righteous. I think this is what the apostles were trying to get across to us during confrence. As long as we are faithful things are going to be ok. We need to trust that. We need to stop having fear and instead simply trust that the Lord will take care of His sheep, us. We must do our best and then stop worrying. I think of how many hours I've spent worrying over things that I really cant do anything about, about money or the future- those big scary issues that keep a person up at night... Honestly after confrence I thought 'calm down christie anne'. I dont need to waste so much time worrying and thinking about things that are in the Lord's hands. Anyway, there is my tid bit on confrence. Oh, and of course, Elder Holland's talk. wow. If you haven't heard it get online and listen to it. I want to be able to follow Elder Holland's command and never leave the Lord alone, I want to stand by my Savior at all times, in all things and in all places!