Giving up

After a long and painful process we have decided to switch Alana over to formula. It just didn't seem to matter what i did she would still get upset. I never knew whether she would be happy or not. I'm so sick of her tummy hurting. So, we, well me mostly, made the painful decision to switch her over. I cried most of the night last night. I never thought i would really like nursing. The idea was weird to me. However, i love nursing. I love holding my baby close to me and giving her something no one else can. I love the bond that i feel. I love when she looked up at me with those big blue eyes. I had really agonized over this. Everywhere you read tells you that nursing is best and that you should nurse no matter what. Well, finally I thought, how could it be better than formual if her tummy hurts. If i can make the pain stop wouldn't that be better. So, we are doing that. I'm hoping this is going to really make a difference. Now my boobs are so engorged- ouch. I never had to do this Jadynne since my milk just dried up with her. So i hope that the milk goes away quickly. I think the most important thing with kids is what is right for them, what makes them the most healthy (way to go captian obvious). But i think sometimes we try to follow experts or a philisophy or ideology (man i was going for a word i could spell i came up with two i cant spell). I guess its just me, but its hard not the listen to everyone in the world and think - i should do it this way- and not listen to the voice in my head. I listened to that voice and gave her formula last night and guess what- she slept for 11 hours. she sleeps better than jade. goodbye nursing hello formula.