First big booboo

Well, Jadynne now looks like a beaten child. Yesterday, I was going to pick up Cameron. Jadie is big enough that she climbs up the stairs to our front outside step and then waits for me to lock the door, then I pick her up and carry her down the concrete stairs, since she hasn't figured out how to get down those ones (they hurt to slide down...no carpet). This is what usually happens. Yesterday slow motion occurred and I witnessed what no mother wishes to see - my child falling. As I was busily eating a sandwich and locking the door Jade changed our whole routine. I think that she must have backed up too far because as I turned around I saw her fall right onto the side of her face. We were standing at the top of the stairs and so she fell from the top step down to ground level...that is concrete. I was really worried about her neck because it looked like all her weight was on her now terribly bent neck. She must have gotten one arm out to somewhat save her face since there are scratches on her arm. Of course she cried so badly that our neighbors came outside to make sure that no one had died. It was so scary. It felt like I was moving in slow motion, I couldn't grab her in time. Then when I had her in my arms I was frozen. I couldn't make it back in my house. All I could do was stand on my steps and try to calm Jade and make sure there wasn't any perminate damage. It was horrible. Finally she did calm down, of course. I'm sure she is fine as she isn't acting funny or anything, so it seems she walks away with only badges of her fight with the concrete. I will be so happy when I have a house, that has grass.

This of course turned out to be a red letter day for me. Not only did I feel like a crappy mother because she looks like a beaten child but then I had mutual where I continued to show that I am not capable of being a mom. I went to mutual and Cameron called me 10mins after I had left and said Jade wouldn't stop crying. So, I went home and got her- she had fallen on her head- she needed her mama. Of course since we were going to the Bean museum I had girls in the car and in my rush to get going I didn't check to see if she had shoes on or if her diaper was changed...yeah. So we went to the museum and my poor child walked around in her socks with huge scratches on her face and her hair an absolute mess. Then as we were gathering everyone up one of the other leaders (not me of course) noticed that Jade had wet threw her diaper, her onesie and her pants....yeah. I didn't notice, someone else did. I had no change of clothes for her and she couldn't stay in her wet clothes. The only item of clothing I had in my bag was a sweater that had orange juice dried on it, so it smelt like vinegar. Yeah, Me, the amazing mother carried my child out in socks and a smelly sweater...It was a red letter day. It seems as soon as you think you've got a handle on things something happens to remind you that no really you cant handle your life.
On a more positive note, I've been so happy and content with my life lately that I actually wrote a poem. Now this post is so long I'm assuming none of you will read it, haha. I'm posting it just because a)I dont want to lose it and B) I want you all to know how happy I am in my current situation (minus yesterday's amazing display of ineptitude.
The petal falling walk underscores my mood
No longer needing glasses for I see the world anew
My rosy view is shimmering in gold and purple too
A heart once beat in my chest ; It now resides outside
Its split between a little tike and man who walks beside
Soon it will grow again, another will hold my soul
Dripping golden sunlight fills my empty chest
A shell upon the sea shore beautiful it sits
Put your ear up to my chest, an ocean you will hear
Sounds of laughter and pattering feet, crash upon this shore
Our legs like seaweed, forever entwined; there is no space between
You hold me tight, you lift me up, your words are more than gold
Rose colored glasses are thrown away for I see the world anew